Vampires In My Heart
by preppunkqtpie
Summary: Atalanta, a normal high school girl with some odd secrets, catches the eye of Edward Cullen, the most famous vampire in Forks. What happens when Edward discovers Ati's secrets and the truth behind her beauty?
1. Ati's Secret

"Hello Edward," I approached the mysterious, enigmatic vampire that was so famous now around Forks High School. It was Edward Cullen and boy was he sparkling today.

"Hi Atalanta," Edward responded. My name is Atalanta Briann Juno Dambi Wynter Honor Carinna Thompson, but everyone calls me Ati. Except for Edward, of course. I shivered in excitement when Edward said my name – his voice was so deep and manly, like the hot vampire he was. I know he had a girlfriend – Bella – but Bella was so plain compared to me. I am the most beautiful girl in all of Forks. I have sun burnt sunshine colored hair with golden streaks that sparkle in the sunlight – sparkle like Edward's skin. My eyes are azure and lavender, but change color depending on where the sun hits them – sometimes they turn to rainbow. My skin is tan and beautiful – a perfect contrast to Edward's beautiful, lovely, sparkling, pale vampire skin.

"What's up, Edward?"

"Nothing much, just about to go to Biology," he replied.

Biology. My heart stopped. That was the class where Edward had met Bella just a few weeks ago. I was in his class – I sat two rows behind them, always envious of Bella because she is Edward's girlfriend. I would constantly seethe in anger, as Bella would whisper into Edward's ear while our teacher, Mr. Wilkinson, was talking to us about stupid Biology crap. I was in his biology class as well. I followed him into the room, entranced by his yummy scent of flowers and sparkle.

"And this is how the human body works." But Edward was not a human – he was a vampire. And I was in love with him so much.

Ring! The bell shocked me out of my Edward-loving trance. It was now time to go to Algebra. I hate math, even though I make all As in it. It is so boring and dull. But as soon as I walked into the class, Algebra suddenly got better – I saw Edward sitting in the desk next to me. My heart stopped.

"E-Edward…" I apprehensively said, sitting next to him, "I didn't know you were in here."

"I transferred yesterday. Geometry was too easy for me. Plus, since I'm a vampire and all, I've taken Geometry so many times and I haven't taken Algebra at all yet."

"Oh…that's cool," I responded shyly.

"Did you get the homework?" Edward asked.

"Yes!" I enthusiastically replied, "I make all As in math, even though I hate the class."

Suddenly, our teacher, Mrs. Harris walked in. She was a mean, old lady with grey hair pulled back into a bun. She walked to the front of the classroom and began to write on the board. She wrote a complicated Algebra equation, but I knew the answer

"X equals 4.5!" I yelled.

"Miss Atlanta! Do not answer out of turn!" said Mrs. Harris.

I was mad. Not only had Mrs. Harris yelled at me, she also had just called me Atlanta, when my name was really Atalanta. "Its Atalanta! Or even better, you can call me Princess Atalanta Briann Juno Dambi Wynter Honor Carinna Thompson because I am related to royalty!" The whole class gasped, then began to applaud me for standing up to mean Mrs. Harris. Sheila, a plain, ugly girl next to me, turned to me and said "Ati, what kind of royalty are you related to?"

"My grandfather is the king of Neptune," I said loudly.

The class gasped again. "Space royalty?" Someone behind me yelled.

"Yes, he is. I go to Neptune every year to visit him. And since I am related to royalty and have the special royal genes, I don't need to wear a spacesuit!" It was true. I looked so hot when I was on Neptune. I wore short miniskirts with high heels and a cute, sparkly shirt that sparkled like Edward's skin in the sunlight.

Then it hit me. Edward. Would vampires be able to live on Neptune? I hoped so. They should because they are immortal, but then again, maybe not. I loved Edward and I wanted him to be the new king of Neptune after my grandfather died. I would be his queen and we would rule Neptune and be so awesome together. I would be the best girlfriend ever, so much better than Bella.

"Space royalty huh?" Edward said inquisitively, "That's so cool, Atalanta. Could I go to Neptune with you sometime?"

I nodded my head frantically. "Sure Edward. We can go tonight if you aren't busy."

"Well, Bella has something I need to do, but I can postpone that because I really want to go to Neptune with you."

My heart jumped for joy. Edward Cullen was so obviously in love with me. I was happy.


	2. Off to Neptune

"This is such a cool spaceship," Edward said awesomely as we walked around together. It was a cool spaceship – it was a specially made Mercedes-Benz spaceship with silver leather interior and a big screen TV and a mini-fridge stocked with all sorts of goodies. Alas, I had no blood – human or animal – for Edward.

"Yeah, it's so awesome," I said as I took the wheel. Since I'm so advanced for my age, I got my spaceship-driving license when I was 8 – half the age you have to be to get a driver's license for a car! I started up the spaceship and we were ready to go. Soon we began to soar through the galaxy, all the way to Neptune. I was getting very exited with Edward sitting next to me.

"Could I drive?" He asked.

"Sure!" I enthusiastically replied. Edward was so awesome so I would totally let him drive. He probably knew how because he is a vampire and vampires know everything.

Edward took the wheel of the spaceship and began to drive. It was smooth space sailing until we came upon an asteroid! The asteroid was so big and rocky and it nearly hit our ship. Edward frantically turned the wheel, avoiding the asteroid thankfully. But then I figured out – we were off course. When would we get to Neptune, I wondered. I'm sure Edward knew how because he is smart, but still I was worried.

We flew though the galaxy for what seemed like hours, but really it was years, because of the speed of light and the space-time continuum and all. I checked my special Earth calendar that was on the wall next to the big screen TV. The year was now 2060 and that meant that Bella must be old or dead, since she was not a vampire like Edward. I cheered for joy! Finally, Edward and me would be together forever!

"Edward, it's been so many years on Earth," I said, "It's now 2060."

"What," Edward whipped around to face me, not paying attention to where he was going, "Wait a second…that's so weird. It only feels like a few hours have passed."

"It's the space-time continuum, Edward," I said, "It holds the secrets to the universe."

Edward nodded. "I see," he said, "Thank you Atalanta. Do you know where we are?" He asked me. I jumped at the opportunity to help Edward because I am a good person and I love to help people all the time. "Hmm…" I said, "It looks like we are in the outer realms of the galaxy." I spotted Pluto in front of us. "We've gone too far," I said, "That's Pluto, Edward."

"Pluto?" Edward said, "But Pluto isn't even a planet!"

"I know," I responded.

Boom! Suddenly, my Mercedes-Benz spaceship crashed into a huge, ugly Cadillac Escalade spaceship. The engine started to sparkle and I was scared.

"Edward!!" I yelled, "Help me!!"

"I don't know how," he said, "This is your spaceship, Atalanta!"

A fire began to engulf the cabin. I screamed. I was mortal. I could die, unlike Edward who was an immortal vampire. I was afraid. I didn't want to die. I was too pretty and beautiful and awesome and amazing to die like this, in space, without ever seeing Neptune again. I screamed again. Then everything went black.


	3. Another Secret Revealed

I opened my eyes. A mirror was in front of me. My eyes were emerald and shone like diamonds – they had changed color since the crash. I was inside a weird room, all white with black-carpeted floors. "Where am I, " I murmured.

"You are in the realm of the Werewolves," a voice next to me hissed, "I am Jacob Black and I am the king of Pluto, the new home of our species. Since the vampires took over the Earth, we werewolves were exiled into space. We found Pluto, and we love it. Because as Pluto isn't a planet, we werewolves are not really humans."

"What?" I said shocked and inquisitively. Jacob Black was one of Bella's friends. He hated Edward because Edward was a vampire and he was a werewolf and werewolves and vampires were mortal enemies. "Where's Edward?" I cried.

"Edward is no longer with us," Jacob said evilly, "He is lost in space."

"No!" I yelled. "Edward is my true love!"

"Not anymore," Jacob cackled evilly again, "He is gone forever! You are my girlfriend now, Atalanta!"

"Never! I hate you Jacob Black!" I began to cry. "You will never replace Edward! Vampires will always be in my heart! Werewolves suck!"

Jacob slapped a piece of duck tape over my mouth to stop me from speaking. "That's better," he said cruelly, "You need to be quiet, Princess Atalanta."

I gasped under the duck tape. He knew I was a princess! Another werewolf came behind me and tied my hands behind my back. I was their captive now. I was scared. I wanted to go back to Forks or Neptune, to see my family. I began to cry.

"Why are you crying, Atalanta? You are better now here with us, with the werewolves instead of with those stupid vampires!" Jacob said. "We know you are a princess, which is why you are very valuable to our cause! We wish to take over the entire galaxy!" Jacob laughed maniacally and evilly.

I was even more scared now. The galaxy and everything would be destroyed if the werewolves took over! I wanted Edward close to me. I wanted to smell his wonderful scent, a scent of gardenia and chrysanthemum. I longed to gaze upon his dazzling skin that constantly sparkled, glittering like a night sky filled with stars. His hair, always so coiffed perfectly with hair gel that smelled delicious. I loved Edward and I didn't want to lose him now. I fought with all of my might to free myself from the bondage Jacob had inflicted on me. I kicked my feet but Jacob laughed.

"You are stupid for being so smart, Atalanta," Jacob snarled, "You can never be free from my grasp!"

"Jacob." It was Leah, another werewolf, a girl werewolf. She was prettier than Bella, but not as pretty as me. She had long, dark hair and dark eyes and was wearing a long, dark, sparkly dress with dazzling copper eye shadow and red pumps. "Who is this girl that we have kidnapped?"

"This is Princess Atlanta what-her-face," Jacob said disdainfully, staring at me with a bad look on his face. "We will rule the universe now Leah!"

"Oh yes, indeed. Princess Atalanta is very important. We haven't been able to conquer Neptune yet – she is our key. How smart you are, darling." Leah kissed Jacob on the cheek.

"Now Atalanta, you will do our bidding! Or else!"

I began to cry. I wanted – no I needed – Edward to save me from Jacob and Leah's cruel trap. I needed to defeat them and reclaim the galaxy for justice and peace.

"You are more important than you think," Jacob snarled. "My ancestors fought your stupid royal family on Neptune for control of the universe thousands of years ago! And they won! Now it is time for my revenge! You were taken from your parents as a baby – your real parents on Neptune are DEAD!!" Jacob began to cackle evilly.

I was shocked. What on earth was Jacob talking about? My parents were Harry and Ginny Thompson, and they weren't dead. Who could my real parents be? I knew I was a princess of Neptune, that my grandfather, my mother's father, was king and that Harry was my step-father. But who was my real father, a prince of Neptune? I wondered this as Jacob and his henchmen dragged me into a dark room. I was scared and terrified.


	4. Soaring Through the Milky Way

Jacob took the tape off of my mouth. Finally - I could breathe at last. "Get me Edward! I want Edward!!!!" I yelled loudly. Jacob did not get me Edward. Instead he admitted the truth; He turned to me and said, "I only made up that story about your parents because you're so gorgeous that all the werewolves are in love with you. Mate with us! Not with that vampire man."

"No!! Edward is my one true love!! He and I will be together forever, mark my words Jacob and there is nothing you can do about it!" I continued to yell, utterly terrified at the prospect of me and Jacob together. I was afraid he was going to rape me. Oh, but he wouldn't because he didn't want to make me upset because I am so beautiful. Then, since I'm also incredibly smart, I came up with an idea. I yelled to him, "I'm not going to even talk to you unless I get my Edward back!"

"Oh you'll get your Edward back, won't you my pretty?" Leah cackled in the corner, and began to make out with Jacob in front of me. They continued to make out until Jacob stopped and looked at me. "Atalanta," he said scarily, "You will have sex with me before I get you Edward". "Okay", I said. I was desperate. "Hey! She actually consented! This isn't rape!", Jacob yelled to his weird friends. Then, we had sex.

The next morning, I woke up, and I didn't know if I was pregnant or not. Oh my god! I was so worried. Then Jacob brought in Edward, and all my troubles disappeared. Edward immediately punched every werewolf in the head. They all died, and we escaped.

We walked into the spaceship yard. There were lots of old ugly ships like a Rolls Royce. Then, I saw a pink Bentley spaceship, and we had to steal it because it was pretty and pink! The pink wasn't a hot pink color, but it wasn't dull either. It was just my favorite kind of pink! It was a pinkish pink that was very pink. I thought it was one of the prettiest pinks I had ever seen. It made such a pretty pink spaceship, so the shade of pink was just great. I don't know why the werewolves had such a cute ship, but oh my god! It was so cute!

I hopped in and saw that it had a white leather interior and I was really exited because pink and white together are my favorite colors in the world. Edward saw my excitement and - he kissed me! I was frozen in time, forever, in this amazing moment. I stopped, my heart stopped with the amazing power of his wonderfully wonderful kiss. His vampire tongue was in my mouth and it was heaven on earth, if vampires could be in heaven, since they are undead - but that was beside the point in my love-addled mind. I was in love with Edward so much. We kissed more and my heart began to thump against his stony, white, marble chest - he was a god, an angel and an archangel combined and I was just a normal, plain sort of girl who everyone loved for some reason. I guess I could be called beautiful - Edward began to run his cold, pale, white fingers though my sunburnt sunshine locks and began to kiss my face even more. I kissed him and ran my hands all over his cold, pale vampire face.

"I love you so much Edward," I murmured to him, "You are mine forever and ever," I continued to mumble.

"Oh Atalanta," he said, his brows beginning to furrow with concentration on our amazing kiss, "I love you too. As soon as we get back to earth, I will break up with Bella for you. You are amazing." He began to take off my shirt - oh my god this was it! Edward was going to have sex with me! I was so exited and began to take of his shirt, putting my hands on his perfectly chisled chest - it was so awesome and so amazing. His eyes dazzled in mine. As a meteor passed by us, its light shone on Edward and made his beautiful vampire skin sparkle against my plain white skin. We had sex for what seemed like an eternity - and it was, in space time. Many many years passed on earth - no doubt Bella was a old woman, unsexy and ugly and hated by Edward. She would be old and her breasts would sag in a way that no man would ever feel desire for her. It was.. my moment!

We had sex, and it was far better than when I was practically raped by that ugly Jacob werewolf. "Oh my god, Edward", I said, "I might be pregnant. Let me check!" I let him steer the ship since I knew he was smart enough to do it. He was hot too, and his shining skin made me desire him more. I plugged the pregnancy test into my belly button, and removed it a minute later. "Oh my god, Edward", I said, "I think I am pregnant! I don't know if it's from you or from that nasty creepy evil werewolf guy!" Edward turned to me with an attractive smile on his attractive face. His attractive lips opened his attractive mouth allowing him to say to me in his attractive voice that he could use his attractive vampire powers to check what race the baby was.

He put his head on my chest and listened. I was so frightened, but I felt calm because Edward was around. He always made me feel calm. He turned to me and said, "Have you been sleeping around? This baby isn't vampire or werewolf. I don't think it's human either!" I screamed worried about what kind of monster fetus that could be eating my food with me!


	5. The Dastardly Fetus Is Born!

A few hours later, I was having intense labor pains. Edward was sitting near me, so I felt calm. But, I was worried. Did he really think I was sleeping around? I did not want to be rejected by my hot vampire boyfriend just because of some small suspicions that obviously have no basis in reality.

He turned to me and said, "I'm worried that your baby is about to come out right now!" Suddenly, I realized he was right, and started shrieking. I shrieked in such a way not to hurt his sensitive vampire ears, but to sound pleasurable and alluring to them, while still making it known that I was in a lot of pain with my baby. He ran through the ship and grabbed the emergency birth kit. I was confident Edward could be a doctor. After all, he got an A+ in Anatomy.

I remembered those days, he was still with that ugly plain girl Bella, and the Anatomy teacher, Miss Farrell, was at least one hundred and twenty years old. She was mean to us all the time. Edward was so good at the labs, that she decided to take him to the hospital to help with a real birth for the final exam. Even though he was a vampire, he still knew better than to suck the baby's blood when it came out. He also had an A+ in Cultural Studies, so he knew these things.

Edward is always right, and he was right about the baby coming out right now. It came out. It pierced my insides, but Edward used his anatomical knowledge to stitch me up perfectly. The baby itself was kind of cute, but also ugly. It was like a cactus.

After Edward stitched me up, he looked at the baby. "It appears to be a vegetable!", he said showing off his smart knowledge while also using his sexy voice. "No shit, Sherlock!" said my baby.. oh, but it wasn't a baby anymore. It had turned into a fully grown cactus man. It was green and covered in spikes. It wore a 30 foot long scarf wrapped around its neck 7 times, a cowboy hat, suspenders, and had socks on its hands. It lunged for Edward.

"Please don't kill Edward, nasty cactus man! Kill me before my hot vampire boyfriend must die!", I screamed. I meant it with all my heart. "No!", Edward cried in response, "Murder me before Miss Atlanta.. I mean Atalanta. You drain my energy so, Cactus man!" Cactus man and Edward were having a fierce duel. They were now busy throwing corn flakes at one another after they finished throwing all the beautiful white leather chairs around.

Suddenly, I had a brilliant vision: The universe was like a giant chessboard, and this was the most important battle of the game! I had to do anything I could to help, so I lunged at Cactus man with a butcher knife. He pierced me with his sharp pointy things and it hurt. I was about to fall asleep under the influence of his magic poison when I realized a perfect way to defeat him. "Cacti need air, Edward! Vampires and Neptunian princesses don't!".

I fell into the deepest darkest blackest darkest sleep anybody in the whole expanding universe ever knew.


	6. Sleeping Beauty

Chapter 6: Sleeping Beauty, or how I woke up to my hot vampire boyfriend and was sick.

"You've been asleep for 3 minutes now, Atalanta!", my hot vampire boyfriend whispered to me as I awoke. "I thought you were never ever ever going to wake up.".. I was so proud of myself for finally getting Edward to fall in love with me. I could see the universe as it really was: I was the hottest, sexiest, most beautiful, most desirable woman in the universe, and everyone wanted on me.

Why did Edward like me anyway? I was just a plain Neptune girl, and I was as ugly as they come. I couldn't see why anyone would love me at all. The universe was all stacked against me, and it hated me.

I got up, and went to the bathroom. I looked at my ugly face in the mirror, and then I proceeded to urinate. My face was so beautiful. I brushed my hair and put makeup on to look hotter. I really wanted to have sex with Edward again. But what would he ever want to have sex with me for? I was ugly, and I never brushed my hair or put makeup on. I left the bathroom feeling sorry about myself.

"So, Edward!", I said. "Do you want to have sex again tonight? Last time we had it, it was so good and hot. I love sex." We had sex again that night. Whenever Edward and I had sex, it would hurt so much because he was a vampire and I was a human but it didn't matter - it was still the most beautiful, wonderful thing ever. I loved him so, with his chisled marble body and his sparkling, dazzling topaz eyes that seared into my soul every time he stared at me. "Oh Edward!" I said, as I closed my eyes and everything went to black.

The next morning, we headed for Neptune again. Apparently, we had gone of course, and almost flew into Uranus. After steering away from Uranus, I stared at Edward again. He was so hot. I could stare at him all day. One of the interesting things about vampires, besides the fact that they don't breathe, is that they have very shiny skin. It shimmers, shines, and sparkles in light. Edward's skin did exactly that. It turned me on so much when it did.

Suddenly, I had a realization about one thing in the universe: me. "EDWAAARD!", I yelled, "Giving birth to a cactus man is weird! I should go to a doctor to find out why that happened." Edward opened his mouth, and slurred out the sexy words, "yes! This is a great idea! You should go to the hospital in Uranus. Let's turn back to go to Uranus now!". Edward steered the controls with the confidence that a super hot vampire would have. If only I wasn't so ugly and self-conscious.

"We're penetrating into Uranus now!", said Edward. "I've always wanted to go to Uranus, Edward", I said, "I just never had the time to get there until now." Edward was so smart that he knew the geography of Uranus. He knew exactly which part of Uranus that we were headed to. In fact, he knew Uranus like the back of his hot shiny hand.

We finally landed inside Uranus hospital. The doctor was kind of creepy, and I think he kept staring at my breasts. Everyone stares at my breasts because they are sexy like I am. Everything about me is hot, and I could tell everyone knew it. Oh, alas, I wasn't attractive at all, and nobody ever noticed my breasts, let alone my face. Such woes of being a lowly Neptunian princess.

The doctor told me I needed to shower and fill a jug with my bodily fluids. I filled the jug with my fluids, and I showered, but not necessarily in that order. It was sort of harder to move in Uranus. It was a big place, so there was lots of gravitational pull. The farther you got into Uranus, the harder it was to move.

The doctor people immediately had my test results, because I had sex with both a werewolf (yuck!!) and a vampire (yay!!!) within a 24 hour period, I contract Harry Lubenberg's disease. The only cure fore Harry Lubenberg's disease, they told me, is Ubikitus. Ubikitus is an element that was found on Earth in the 000th century. It is no longer found anywhere in the known universe. Without Ubikitus, I would die in five months. Edward and I ran back into our pink Bentley, and prepared to time travel.


	7. Ug, the Caveman

**A/N: this is from Ug's POV okay guys**

"Ugggg." My name is Ug. I am a caveman. I am stupid. I like to eat meat. Sometimes I eat raw meat. Sometimes I cook it. I always hunt the meat myself. I search, desperately looking for meat to eat.

I am dirty. I do not wash. I have long hair. My hair is dirty. I do not wash it. I am naked. I do not wear clothes because I am too stupid. My wife, Ugetta is the same. She is hairy, and she does not wear clothes either. I wonder what clothes are. I don't know.

I am sitting on my lonesome. I pick my nose, and then excrete bodily wastes on to the ground. I am dirty, and stupid, and ugly. I know no better. My life goes on like this.

One day, I hear a noise. I suspect there might be meat near where I hear the noise, so I crawl over there to investigate. It is a big thing in an unnatural color. It looks pink. A superman comes out. He has shiny skin and his teeth are odd. Following him is a woman. My kind of woman. She is well groomed, shaven, and beautiful. She wears makeup, and is very hot. I think she is the most sexy thing I have ever seen. Ugetta can never compare. I walked up to her to try to talk.

"Me, ug. You?"

She said

"Oh my god! You are the uglisest smelliest diriest thing ever! Don't you know how to bathe? Get up off of your smelly butt and help us find some Ubikitus."

I reply

"You, god?"

She said

"No! God is some guy above. Me no god."

I reply

"You, no god?"

She said

"Yes, me, no god."

I reply

"No god is very pretty"

She said

"Thank you, but I am only into vampires."

My brain ticked, and then I realized the way the universe should be. We built houses, bathed, showered, and learned to communicate. That beautiful woman had created: society!


End file.
